Day 2

Part of Me

What Are You Waiting For?

Sometimes, being the listener becomes a problem.  I sat and listened to Patty the other night, and I loved every minute. I listen to Mark all the time, and I feel blessed and honoured that I can be here for him.  I went out with Cailyn yesterday and I listened to her - which I will do as often as I can because I know the day may come when she won't want to talk to me.  The problem comes when I listen without giving myself permission to talk.  I believe that what I have to say is not worth saying... that my opinion and story is something no one wants to hear.  When I talk, it's to kill dead space. I feel so awkward when I actually share something.  I speak for only seconds and I am already thinking I have talked too much. As soon as that happens, I start to stumble over my words, I stop being cohesive, and nothing I say comes out right.  I always finish my sentence quickly and hope that someone else starts speaking.  Or, I will make light of what I just said and ask the other person more detail about something they said earlier. 

What is boils down to is that other people are worth more than me.  That means if they need to talk, then I will listen. Always.

Suddenly I know how to write my book... people who read my book are CHOOSING to read it.  No one is forcing them to read my thoughts.  No one is forcing them to listen to my life story.  I am not forcing them to listen.  They are not listening to me just being polite.  They will read it because they want to.  The readers are my captive audience.  This realization has given me what I need to write - reader's choice.  I am writing the book the those who CHOOSE to read it, for those who decide that what I have to say will benefit them.  I am speaking to those who decide to read it. 

Suddenly, I just want to start writing!

Another book thought - Instead of writing a "series", I will write the book in 2 Parts.  Part 1 - When the Car Door Closes.  Part 2 - Opening the Car Door.

Book Title: The Car Door - One Woman's Journey of Leaving Domestic Violence.